I have no idea who this lady in the picture is, but I could swear she looks a tiny bit like Fergie. But it can't possibly be Fergie - I mean, just look at her face. It's perfectly shaped and it's got perfectly smooth skin - not to mention the hair and the attitude... She almost (I said almost) looks fresh and classy and glamorous. Well, what do you know - it really is Fergie. Girl, what have they done to you? Is that really your body? And what's with the metal chains on your... is that a dress? Are you heading for the loony bin too and they had to tie you down and bind you in irons (literally) to stop you from going medieval on their a*ses and ruining the set? And how exactly is this an AIDS-awareness campaign?

Yes, well, ever sine the Britney meltdowns that resulted in stolen jewelry and smeared doggy poo, it's been hard to trust another singer-turned-model with any expensive props. So they came up with this idea. Well, gotta give them props (see the little pun I did there?) - whoever thought of it had a lot of imagination. So, since I couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something wrong with these shots of Fergie (however well-intentioned the campaign may be), I asked for some opinions from my colleagues (who are more into fashion and glamor than I am, by the way) and asked them to tell me the first thing that came to their minds when they first saw these shots of Fergie. I'm talking strictly about the fashion side. Here's what came out.

1.The "convict in chains" theory

According tot this one, Fergie's posture and attitude depicts a fierce sense of never-quite-attainable freedom - not sure from what, but I'd venture a guess that she's trying to put across the message that a lady should be free to do whatever she pleases - for instance, take drugs, pee herself on stage and perform with her crotch in plain view of the audience - without taking any grief for it. You know, the media attention chains her free spirit but she will eventually pull through, that sort of thing. Not sure I agree with that particular outlook, but if you have another look at the photo and think about it for a few minutes, it actually makes sense. I do feel they should have added a bit of a finishing touch - how about an exposed boob to make the "freedom" part more explicit?

2.The "garbage bin lid" or the "scrap metal salvage yard" theory

Now that one's a little more relatable. I mean yes, I must admit that she does look a tiny bit like she went on a meth-fueled rampage at a scrap metal salvage yard and picked out some accessories while she was at it. She does look oddly... constricted in that attire, and the corset is making her boobs look like some well-oiled industrial machine. The chain trim at the top of the said corset isn't helping, either - she looks like she's about to jump from the picture swinging one of those medieval battle axes and decapitate us all. Beware!

3.The "fierce fake sexiness" theory

This one I can relate to the most - big emphasis on the word "fake" by the way. We all know Fergie is a little too conformist and not sufficiently outspoken to pass for a legitimate sex and fashion symbol, in the sense that she's not usually one who's keen on putting meaning behind her magazine appearances. She doesn't strike me as the creative type, or the kind of woman that's trying to send a social message via her attitude, posture and overall attire - she looks like she's just putting on what they tell her and tries to look fierce doing that. Actually, maybe we shouldn't be so critical of her from that point of view - most of the female celebrities out there play the same game. If you can think of any exceptions, please let me know.

4.The "detergent advertising" theory

Now this one's funny. And it came from one of my male colleagues, so it's all the more interesting to discover the reasoning behind it. Which is (I assume) that Fergie's add is meaningless, and is simply a business endeavor, mixed with a little narcissism. A detergent commercial is a classic type of advertisement, one that's friendly and neutral and tame. The singer, however, seems to disagree. "MAC picks people like RuPaul, Mary J. Blige - people that are a little controversial and aren't afraid to speak their minds. I'm very proud to be a part of it". So she's speaking her mind - how, exactly? As I was saying, I still feel there's something wrong with this shot. What do you think?