Since it's Monday, we're all slightly depressed and still struggling to deal with the fact that the weekend is long gone - so what better way to cope with it than by having a few good laughs. Well, that and getting the latest gossip out there, the juicy bits and pieces we've been longing for ever since our morning coffee. So, here goes - funniest piece of news I read today. I do have to warn you, though - it's about Paris Hilton, and while I for one have somehow managed to convince myself that I can pretty much survive all things Paris related, it's wise to always assume the worst and prepare to be shocked by this wonderful creature's exploits. So, as I was saying, Paris Hilton wants us to think she's engaged and pregnant. Here, I said it.

OK, so you can take a break and gather the contents of your stomach off the floor - and maybe have some fresh air before you come back inside and finish reading. The fact is, the soon-to-be-ex-heiress and Hollywood's chief attention-seeker has been dating Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden for less than ten days and already she's acting like she's enjoying some sort of quality pre-marital bliss with Joel Madden's twin brother. And we all know Paris - she's probably so happy to get a boyfriend at last, that she's putting herself on display in an even more in-your-face manner. Which can only be annoying as hell for those of us who still hope they can turn on their computers and not see Paris' face grinning back at them from almost every web page.

Back to my original "engaged and pregnant" point. The classy socialite that is Miss Hilton attended the opening of the Kim Vo Salon at the Mirage resort last Friday and showed off a huge ring on her left ring finger - and not just any kind of ring. The bling monstrosity, which looked like it was taken straight from the finger of a wannabe rapper, sported the initials "BM", which - gasp - probably stand for Benji Madden's initials. Trust Paris to keep things nice and private... The funny part is that last week, Paris had taken to wearing a necklace with a big letter "B" hanging from it, but obviously thought that wasn't getting her enough attention, so she switched to the ring. Who wants to bet she bought the thing herself? As for the baby part, check out the photo with the dress clinging to her belly. What do you think?