Say Buh-Bye Booty!

Aren't you sick yet of seeing all these people (and I don't mean just celebrities), hanging out at the beach in almost barely-there bikinis or even in the nude altogether? Doesn't the thought that they are exposing all this flesh and trying to get everybody's attention to their tight (or not so tight) bodies seem very distressing to you? Have you had enough of the Parises and Lindsays of nowadays who strut their tooshes on the sand in the hope to catch some admiring glance?

OK, I know for a fact that you haven't! But let's just play a game and pretend that you answered in the positive to all of the above... you'll see, it's fun! So, you're sick of seeing people almost naked on the beach, and especially chicks, or you are yourself a girl who has had it with men whistling admiringly or disrespectfully every time you go into the water. What can you do? Fret no more: Wholesome Wear has the right answer for you!

Starting from the assumption that bathing suits are made with the idea in mind of drawing people's attention to the body of the one who's wearing it (who in God's name came up with THAT?!), the company has a very interesting offer to make to women and girls from all over the world: it's a bathing suit that also doubles as a dress (thus saving you the trouble of going home to change clothes if you want to go out and about town after some tanning) and that basically covers like 60 percent of your body.

I swear, this is something that the world hasn't seen since 1800! The bathing suit is, like I said, not only multi-functional but it also has many other properties, like (hear this!): it's 'swimwear that highlights the face rather than the body' because it 'includes an undergarment with bright colors at the neck and shoulders to draw the eye to the face'. No more staring at girls' ass-ets from now on, boys! What brought about this sudden change, you ask? Well, this model 'is the first to be introduced because the need for modesty in swimwear is greatest and the supply is almost non-existent'!

I'm sorry, I just had to call the Fashion Police on the guys who came up with this idea! Aside from the fact that it makes staring and ogling completely impossible (and life suxs without them), it also damages the very concept of going to the beach - who can get a decent tan in one of those things? You can better get that beautiful brown-gold color by walking down the street in shorts! Plus, the price for these 'babies' is a bit out there - like, somewhere in between $60-100.

These being said, let's get accustomed to the idea that we won't be seeing any more boobs and butts on a regular day at the beach. Papa, go get my cane! I'm out to get me one of these bathing suits! Because nothing says chic and sexy as pants and dresses on the beach!