OK, I must confess I really don't like where all this Eminem drama is going. I mean, how come everybody who was famous about the same time Britney was famous is having a meltdown? It's like she set the tone, or something along these lines. The Britney virus - yes, that has a certain sound to it - we should call the CDC and ask then to name a disease after her. She could totally endorse that and be proud of it. The fact is, there's an Eminem scandal on the way, and I can feel it. I mean, if there is anything about the old Slim Shady left in this expanding body, he won't let this assault pass and will find a way to fight back. Just a suggestion here - but how about putting it all into a great new album? I miss the old Eminem, the one who used to tell it like it was, the racy, daring, stingy guy who turned his anguish into multi-million dollar selling music.

The problem, claims the National Enquirer, is the fact that the rapper is extremely stressed and has had a hard time over the past years, what with his second marriage and subsequent divorce from his wife Kim, his best friend dying and his mother cashing in yet again on their relationship and putting out a tell-all book about how most of Eminem's story about his rough childhood and pill-popping mother was in fact a lie. Food, it would seem, is Eminem's new addiction, and although it may at first glance seem worse than alcohol or drugs, it can kill someone just as efficiently. "He's got a double chin, a pot-belly and droopy man-breasts. And he's living a reclusive lifestyle in an attempt to hide his new body" an insider is quoted as saying.

And while some people around the rap star claim it's all down to stress, Eminem's close family thinks his second divorce from his wife is to blame for his weight gain. "He really wanted it to work between them, to have a happy family life for their daughter Hailie Jade, something he claims he never had while growing up" said the rapper's grandmother. "Marshall has Taco Bell lunches of burritos and tacos with dessert, then Outback dinners of three filet mignons with all the fixings" adds an insider who's familiar with the singer's daily take-out and fast food binges. I'm telling you, I have a bad feeling about this one. I really want Eminem to snap out of his depression and show us all that he still has it in him. Yeah, I know, easier said than done...