14 DAY TRIAL // They say there is no happier day for a woman than her wedding day. Being a bride, dressed in white, and feeling like the most beautiful and loved woman in the room, be it just for a single day, is an experience that is quite hard to forget. So much so that the urge to do it all over again emerges 5, 10, 20 years later – the renewal of the wedding vows is one of the fastest rising social phenomena right now, and also one of the potential indicators that the marriage is heading towards collapse, psychologists say.
Wanting to say one’s “I Dos” all over again can mean a lot of things but, in the context in which the very concept of traditional family is reeling, it is clearly a sign that we need constant reassurances about where we stand at home with our partner, specialists tell the Daily Mail. As it happens, the renewal of the wedding vows also stands as one of the most obvious signs that the marriage is falling apart, since the ceremony can be prompted by boredom or an overwhelming sense of guilt, in which case it comes precisely as the final straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Studies in this sense have not been conducted yet, but figures clearly show, at least in the UK, that, while the number of first-time marriages is slowly but constantly decreasing, that of renewals is on the rise. Given that a re-do of the ceremony has no legal value whatsoever, this has prompted psychologists to think of whether it is not a sign of a much deeper disturbance, such as that of the traditional family being on the brink of extinction.
“There are any number of reasons why a couple decide to renew their vows. Plenty of women are in love with the wedding itself, and can never quite get it out of their system. The wedding takes precedence over everyday ordinariness and the low-key routine of being a wife, which by comparison is pretty boring. If it’s the husband who has suggested vow-renewal, he may feel guilty about something – infidelity or other betrayal – or have something monumental to hide which he is trying to deflect attention from. [For others] it’s an excuse for a party, to cheer everyone up.” the Daily Mail writes, citing a leading London psychologist.
The bottom line remains the same, though – for whatever reason people choose to renew their vows (save for the case in which they truly want to do it out of love), the ceremony can already be regarded as an omen as to the future of the relationship. So, the Mail advises, instead of exposing ourselves to public ridicule and financial expenses we can hardly afford, we should renew our wedding vows every day, whenever we feel the need to say to our partner just how much they mean to us – but in the privacy of our home.