Really Un-Sexy (Booty) Fashion

Since I've been writing about Oscar fashion yesterday, giving you a highlight of the night's best and worst dressed, I realize now I put all the emphasis on the red-carpet looks of all the A-listers who showed up for the ceremony and completely ignored a whole crowd of people. I mean, they may not be as famous and they may not have been wearing dressed by Channel, Dior or Escada, but nevertheless – they were out for the Oscar night celebrating the film industry too, and they deserve praise and attention. So shame on me for not writing about this yesterday, and I promise I'll try to make up for it right now.

And I think I'll start with one of the truly sexy ladies out there, that luscious beauty (I almost wrote "booty", deleted the word and then typed it all over again because it sort of renders the essence of the problem here) that goes by the name of CoCo. I'm sure you all know CoCo by now – if not, congratulations on just waking up from a prolonged coma or vegetative state at best – but just in case, HERE is a short but comprehensive reminder of who this very sexy lady is. Well, CoCo and her pimp... I mean, hubby Ice-T stepped out in full gear on the Oscar night, and she looked positively gorgeous. There was no exposed nipple in sight, no camel toe, no vagina flashing. Even more shocking, CoCo's dress reached down to her knees. I know, miracles do happen. So, feast your eyes on this sexy dream of a woman, and then we can move on.

I already said this post was paying tribute to the less publicized names that decided to honor their own achievements in the film industry (CoCo was once featured in an episode of Law & Order: SVU so she's a serious actress, make no mistake), so it makes perfect sense to mention Jenna Jameson here, too. To this day, I can't understand why the academy ignores porn as a serious branch of the cinema industry – and if porn is what you're after, then Jenna sure is the queen. Or she used to be, but never mind – this is all about remarkable achievements, and Jenna belongs on that list. So here she is in a vintage, haute couture outfit at the "100 Stars" Oscar party last night. Other stars at the party were Shauna Sand and her trademark Lucite platform heels, Jeff Conaway with his girlfriend Vicki, Kelly LeBrock, Sally Kirkland and Traci Bingham. As I said, the big stars came out to play. OK, I'll stop being mean right now. Promise.


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