Once a bitch, always a bitch (generically, of course) - or that's what they say anyway; but for Jenna Jameson, these words have a whole different meaning, as it seems that she's trying hard to convince us all that they're not true. While this may make some of us burst out laughing and (just for old times' sake) have a one-hour lockdown in our rooms with a few of her older tapes, just to refresh our memory, it is at least true that the mega porn starlet is currently trying to clean up her act and give up the allegedly raunchy life as a porn slash adult movie actress to embrace the slightly less dirty life of a porn film producer and...hold on to your pants...clothes designer and comic book writer.

And the first step she took was to visit a plastic surgeon and have her breast implants removed and went from a cup D to a cup C. Big sigh from the audience. Oh well, those were the good days, when Jenna was young and brave and her breasts were all over the place...but no more. And apparently Jenna really wants to spoil the fun for all of us who held her as a bedroom role model and claims she's never felt comfortable with big boobs. Man, I'm telling you, this world is going too crazy for words! Just listen to what she has to say. "When I had implants, I felt uncomfortable. I would be shy at the beach. I know it sounds funny, but I'd wear high-necked clothes - unless I was at an adult-film convention. So I thought, why don't I be who I am and get my real ones back?"

Now that's really weird. The next thing we'll hear is that Paris Hilton's decided to go into a monastery or that Lindsay Lohan's locked herself in a prison cell for seven years in order to escape media attention. I mean really, there have to be some things out there for all of us to believe in when all hope fades, and Jenna's boobs (well, Jenna herself but maybe saying that would be pushing it) were always firm and visible...and always available when in need. But all good things come to an end, and the world will never be the same without her. Sniff. Just kidding!

While Jenna will not do any acting herself, she will continue to run her 30-million porn empire ClubJenna and write her own biography, which she once hoped to see turned into a movie (featuring Scarlett Johansen, no less). She's given up on Scarlett, (un)fortunately, and now she's just going for the movie - a "watch me have sex for a living" typically Hollywood biopic that we're all looking forward to seeing...especially if there are real-life re-enactments of Jenna's past (sex) experiences.

Yeah, like we'd all be watching such a movie because we enjoy the main character's spiritual maturity and outlook on life...like that's ever gonna happen - come on, Jenna, reality check: this isn't The Hustler and you're not Larry Flint and the world will go on without your boobies. And looks like Jenna doesn't stop here - she also wants to release her own clothing line next year. Now, I really wonder what that's gonna be, but I have a feeling it won't be high-necked sweaters or knee-long skirts, though I might be wrong - stranger things have happened.