Pig or No Pig?

I was really in the mood for a bit of a diva scandal, especially with all the Britney drama going on. My stomach simply could not take in any more serious theories and big words such as "multiple personality", "bipolar disorder" and the likes. I just couldn't. So I was extremely happy yesterday when news came out of a diva (I almost wrote "bitch" but then realized that would have been, um, wrong) fight... or feud, call it whatever you like, between the queen of kitsch, Mariah Carey, and the ultimate Latino diva out there, Jennifer Lopez (yes, I'm being ironic here). I was actually hoping these two would end up in a cat fight, preferably somewhere on the red carpet so that the rest of the world could see them trying to pull each other's eyes out while making nasty, scratchy noises. On the other hand, it would probably have sounded like they were actually singing, so scratch that. Pun intended.

The fact is, rumor had it that Mariah had slammed J.Lo big time, by stating that she would rather go on stage with a pig than sing a duet with the Latino diva. And you know what the funny part was? Everyone I know had absolutely no trouble at all believing that the feisty Mimi had actually said something like that – and I think that's got to hurt just a little bit. I mean, darling Mariah never had too much sense to begin with (if she had, she never would have made that horrendous "Glitter") and yes, Jennifer Lopez is exactly the kind of celebrity she would slam.

In the end, we are talking about Mariah Carey, a woman who charges her fans quite a lot of money to simply see her and who asks her bodyguards to throw other ladies away from any public bathroom she's planning to use. So, I bet you consideration for the feelings of others is not Mariah's strongest character trait, and even if she didn't actually call J.Lo a pig THIS TIME, there's no guarantee she won't be using that endearing animal comparison any other day of this week, or the next.

What is the number one rule any grumpy, self-absorbed and ridiculously arrogant celebrity knows? When your credibility is at risk, blame the media. Which is exactly what Mimi did, and exactly why everyone who suspected she was skank before now knows it for sure. "This is just some Internet gossip and it's pathetic that people actually entertain the thought that this could be real. This is another sad example of two strong women being pit against each other" Mimi states for People. "Strong women"? Trust Mariah to actually compliment and defend herself in the same sentence. Well, pig or no pig, we're all looking forward to J. Lo's reply. I think she's just pacing herself and waiting for her babies to be born – but by then Mariah better find a nice, perfumed, private snake hole in which to hide, 'cause you know J.Lo will be coming for her.


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