People Lie to Boost Their Confidence

Psychologists say that there is a sort of natural drive that makes people want to lie uncontrollably when they find themselves in certain situations, where telling the truth could make them look bad in the eyes of close friends, relatives, co-workers or peers. A low sense of self-esteem can also trigger a higher incidence of lies in what a person says. Some think that, by lying, they boost others' perception of them, and thus imagine they are gaining something they would otherwise not. But experts say that this is only in their mind, and that compulsive lying gets to a point where people actually enjoy not telling the truth.

"It's tied in with self-esteem. We find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels," explains Robert Feldman, a psychologist at the University of Massachusetts. He adds that humans possess an ability that no other animal has – that of deceiving both others and themselves.

In the animal kingdom there are countless examples of creatures deceiving other species in order to, well, eat them. But only humans can tell a lie and arrive at the conclusion that what they've just said is actually true. "People almost lie reflexively. They don't think about it as part of their normal social discourse," argues Feldman. "We're trying not so much to impress other people but to maintain a view of ourselves that is consistent with the way they would like us to be."

Sometimes, we lie simply because we want to make the others feel better about themselves, and not because we have something to gain from it. The study shows that this is especially true for women comforting other women, when they are very likely to exaggerate the latter's physical appearance or emotional balance, in order to incite a positive reaction.

Extroverts were found to lie more than introverts, for the simple reason that they come in contact with more people, which prevents them from getting attached to too many others. As a result, they have to lie to get out of uncomfortable situations, whereas introverts don't get in these types of situations in the first place.