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Paris Was Going to Kill Herself in Prison

According to one county sheriff, she could not handle prison life

By Cosmin Turcu, Entertainment News Editor

27th of June 2007, 08:09 GMT

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Does she look like a suicide case to you?

As of yesterday, Paris Hilton is out of jail. That means we have our hands full once again. What should we pick first?

Remember when Paris went to jail in the first place? She remained there for, like, only three days, then she was released to home detention. The media tackled the subject at the time, but the Paris saga was unfolding too rapidly to dwell only on one matter. But now that the saga is between seasons, any scrap is useful. Well, turns out that this is not a mere scrap, but is turning out to be a main dish.

The question is: who sent Paris to home detention; but more importantly: why the hell did he do such a thing? The answer to the former question is: County Sheriff Lee Baca. But the answer to the latter is a jaw dropper. Get this, folks! The good-hearted sheriff feared that Miss Hilton could not handle to be confined and would be in danger of committing suicide. Strike one, Baca.

Party animal Paris Hilton killing herself over a couple of weeks of jail time....yeah, that's sure to happen. Before laughing myself to death, I think I should try to make some sense out of this.

The kind-hearted sheriff made it his goal in life to attend to Paris Hilton's needs in prison. Turns out that after three days of keeping her under observation, he decided that she cannot handle prison life. He recommended home detention on the basis of "unspecified psychological problems" (I could name a few). Paris later added that she is claustrophobic. Now I'm sure that Paris - if she really is suffering from claustrophobia - is not the only jailbird with this kind of problem. But I'm equally sure that the other claustrophobic inmates are not sent to home detention. Strike two, Baca!

Luckily, the positions of power in this world are not all occupied by ass-kissing morons. Baca's preferential treatment sparked a massive uproar in the media, the judge who convicted Paris Hilton in the first place caught wind of this and immediately sent Paris back where she belonged at the time: behind bars. Paris cried her eyes out in the court room, but justice triumphed.

Last but not least, if Paris underwent such a terrible ordeal (or at least that's what Baca is claiming), how can we explain her exuberance when she was released? Needless to say, strike three, Baca! To put matters into perspective, one should not be surprised why Paris Hilton's publicist denied to comment on the sheriff's statements.

TAGS:

Paris Hilton | prison | suicide

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