Dear Paris! We love her so much, and yet she keeps disappointing us. I mean, really, I have no idea what's been going on through that blond head of hers (probably not much we'd like to know) but I think that in the end it was all in vain: the new perfume, the horror musical (whoever would like to stay in a horror musical except Sarah Brightman?), the clothes and so on. It's all one big lie, one big deception: Paris only has one true vocation, and that is being a stripper.

There's no getting around it: Paris looks good on the stripping pole, although the disappointing fact is that she never took off her dress. However, if you had any doubts about the heiress being able to work those moves and rub various parts of her body against the pole, here is overwhelming proof that yes, she can do it. And yes, it's really something that comes naturally to her.

If ever there was a bad case of fame-whoring, Paris is the one to go down in books and medicine journals. She just loves making a fool of herself, she loves being the (unwanted) center of attention. And then, of course, she has the nerve to wonder why people think she's a joke and cut out cardboard versions of herself which they use to promote porn. There's a big difference between who you are and what you choose to do - I can understand that. But in Paris' case, it's more a question of making herself be whatever (or whoever) she thinks others want to see.

So have a look at Paris working the stripper pole, and please don't be surprised at how natural the whole thing looks. Don't go telling Paris that she should actually find a job as a stripper - she'd be offended. She still thinks she can act like a cheap slut and still be seen as a princess. Well, fairytale time is over, hon. Just choose a stage name and show those other trannies out there what you can do. I'm sure they'll all be amazed and impressed with your techniques and will definitely want to learn some of your moves.