Paris Hilton Thinks Stepping Into Urine Will Give You AIDS

In case you've decided your life is pretty dull and you need a daily portion of excitement and adventure in it, and yet you find it difficult to leave your computer behind, here's a thought: subscribe to a newsfeed about Paris Hilton, and your life will never be the same again. You can accompany the blonde heiress on her meandering road through bushes, club bathrooms and fashion shows, watch her leap over fences, battle dangerous gossip rivals and emerge smiling successfully (and dumbly) with the satisfaction of having made your life - and hers - a little better.

Now, we all know no one beats Paris when it comes to STD knowledge. The woman knows her diseases, that's for sure, having been intimately familiar with some of them after she became infected from her various boyfriends. So, you see, there's a lot she can teach us all about how they are transmitted and how to keep yourself safe. It comes as no surprise, then, that she believes that stepping into someone's pee could give you AIDS.

Paris was just on her way out of one of those exclusive nightclubs which she so frequently attends, when she accidentally stepped in a puddle of what looked like sewer water. One of the people watching however noticed that it was probably urine. Paris' reply is one of those things that echo into your mind for all time, across ages of human ignorance. "Oh my God" - she exclaimed - "I could have, like, AIDS".

Yes, people, Paris Hilton and probably some nomadic tribes somewhere out there in Africa still believe you can get AIDS by stepping into pee. And I do have some serious arguments about why Paris should have stayed in school a little longer. Well, if she had, she had also learned that AIDS is transmitted mainly through human intercourse, that is sex, and I think she would have liked the thought - I mean, if you will end up with a deadly disease, at least getting it should be fun, right, Paris?

And while we're all keeping our fingers crossed and hoping the puddle Paris stepped into was not AIDS-infected pee, I think she should be more careful about the other routine stuff she does. I heard climbing over fences will give you herpes - and partying till dawn more than once a month is a sure way to get Chlamydia. I wonder what being irreversibly stupid will do to your genitals though. But I'm already in Paris' territory now, can't go in any further or I might catch something, too?