Pammy Gives Heffner a Naked Lap Dance

Pamela Anderson's back in the news and to her usual fame-whoring ways. The former Baywatch star is busy doing what she does best: pimping out and keeping herself in the spotlight, which - as we all know by now - has become indispensable for the survival of Pammy's ego. It was recently announced that the blond marriage-prone Pam would get her own reality series over the summer. Just like other screen-worthy, soon-to-be Oscar nominated stars out there featured in shows like "Keeping Up with the Kardashians", "Snoop Dogg's Fatherhood" and "Living Lohan". The world will thus have a chance to gain valuable and significant insight into the actress' life, and watch her go about business as usual - that is, stripping for money, marrying sex-crazed professional poker players and giving naked lap dances.

In fact, none of the things mentioned earlier are fabrications of an overtly-alert, caffeine-high mind. As we all probably know by now, Pammy has made rather a tradition of flashing her naked physique at a generous, preferably male-only audience - like she did on Valentine's day, for example, when she performed a special striptease number on a Harley Davidson motorbike, at the Crazy Horse cabaret in Paris. As for marrying burnt-out sex tape producers (after previously having traded sexual favors in exchange for covering a poker debt), well, her short-lived romance with Rick Salomon is the best possible example. And as far as the naked lap dances are concerned... well, this is the icing on the cake. Apparently, Pammy gave Playboy mogul Hugh Heffner a naked lap dance for his 82nd birthday, coming out of a bedroom in his Vegas suite wearing nothing but a pair of high heels. "[Hugh] was stunned and had the biggest smile I've ever seen," confirmed the owner of The Palms Fantasy Towers.

However, the producers of Pammy's future show seem to be just about as deluded as the show's protagonist. They have recently announced that unlike Pammy's "Blond and Blonder" co-star Denise Richards, Pamela will not feature her own kids in the show. "The series will be shot in a highly stylized documentary style," stated the producers of the series. "Pamela will be an artistically rich and visually stunning series," said Randy Barbato, managing director of World of Wonder Productions. "The series will offer an unprecedented look inside the life of one of today's most iconic superstars in the style of a uniquely shot documentary film." Pammy, an iconic superstar? Yes, that absolutely makes just about as much sense as calling her "smart" or "classy".