Cinema

Pammy's Boobs Live on DVD

It's just too much talent for the big screen

By Monica Gaza, Entertainment News Editor

8th of January 2008, 10:44 GMT

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Despite what we may think, the showbiz world is a place full of occult forces and mysterious, unknown influences, a haunted gound ruled by superstitions and curses, a space where the unthinkable often happens and where there are more unexplained phenomena than over the Bermuda Triangle or the Nevada Desert (think Roswell and you'll pretty much get the picture of the atmosphere I'm trying to create here).

What I'm trying to say is that in Hollywood we have all sorts of jinxes and curses that will effectively bring an actor's career down in a matter of months - and these forces are not to be taken lightly. We have things like "The Reality TV Break-Up Curse" which affects celebrity couples who decide they are strong enough to deal with the added strain of exposing their personal life to the cameras non stop. Latest example? Hulk Hogan and his wife Linda - and I'm not getting into any more sordid details at the moment, because I'm pretty sure you know very well what I'm talking about.

Then, there's the "TV Show Curse" which affects the people we see in shows like "Dancing With the Stars" and who end up falling for their dance partners and walking out on their respective husbands/wifes. And then there's the "Comedies Starring Blond Women Go Straight to DVD" curse which seems to affect... blond actresses the likes of Jessica "the Jinx" Simpson and - latest victim to the curse - Pammy Anderson and her loony co-star Denise Richards. Work that DVD magic, baby!

The problem is that neither Pammy nor Denise have done a very good job hiding the fact that... um... how to say this nicely... they don't really manifest a considerable degree of acting prowess. How politically correct did that sound? What I meant was that these two ladies definitely won't be getting an Oscar nomination apiece anytime soon, and are probably not the world's most talented actresses. Now that I've lowered the expectations, I can move in for the kill - and say that Pammy and Denise have been touched by the same curse that has turned movie legend Jessica Simpson (kidding) into an annoying joke of an actress: the straight to DVD curse - which means that the two ladies' latest effort, a movie called "Blonde and Blonder" (yes, I know, very imaginative) will not be hitting the theaters any time soon. What I mean is, it won't be hitting the theaters at all. Pity...

Personally, I think this is essentially a good decision. I mean, I think that a valuable lesson should be learned about Jessica Simpson's movie "Blonde Ambition" (what is it with these movie titles and the word "blonde" by the way?) being released in a number of theaters in Texas and cashing in a couple of hundred dollars. No, I'm not kidding about that - and so yes, if you want to take a closer look at Pammy's boobs acting in a comedy you'll have to wait in line at your local DVD shop. But never fear - I'm sure the quality of the movie is so impressive it will leave you begging for more. Yes, I'm pretty sure that's the case.

TAGS:

Pamela Anderson | Denise Richards | straight to DVD | Blonde and Blonder

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