Oh, No! Is Fergie's Coochie Desperate for Attention Too?

Admit it - it's been sort of lonely in the "wardrobe malfunction" corner of the celebrity stage - and I do NOT mean Britney Spears, no, no way. That girl should have a whole fashion police column... or website, I'm not fussy, dedicated to her, seeing how she is one walking wardrobe malfunction herself. Exposed nipples, bared breasts, exposed vagina and - latest of all possible gross things - an exposed tampon, all these things have turned all of us off ever mentioning the words "Britney Spears" and "fashion" in the same sentence. But never fear, there are so many others out there just waiting to make the headlines, and I know that if we try really, really hard we can pretty much manage to block Britney's image from our minds long enough to focus on Fergie's latest troubles.

No, don't worry, this time she didn't pee herself. For those of you just deplaning from an alien mother ship, the answer is "no" - I wasn't kidding at all when I mentioned that this lovely lady once wet her pants big time during a concert. Her excuse at the time was that her band had been late for the show and had been ushered on stage without having time for a quick stop at the ladies' room first. And while I think that's a lame excuse, I gotta give her props: I never heard of another celebrity peeing herself so far. I heard of celebrities going on stage drunk, stoned, stoned AND drunk, celebrities passing out on stage, thorwing up on stage - but the whole golden shower thing was new, so yes, Fergie is among my favorite walking disasters waiting to happen out there.

So, as I was saying, Fergie did it again. The British singer opened for The Police at Westpac Stadium in Wellington, New Zealand this Thursday, and forgot to check herself in the mirror before going on stage - again! As a result, we almost got a peek at Fergie's more private parts. Yeah, I know, it's not nearly as funny as wetting yourself, but hey, we're taking it one step at a time, right? Well, thank your lucky stars we didn't see the full extent of Fergie's vagina. It would really have been too much for my poor stomach to handle.