Oh, Joy: Britney's (Nipples) Just as Crazy This Side of Christmas...

I'm truly and honestly very sorry that my first post-Christmas article is about Britney Spears – but hey, no one can deny that Brit Brit was one of the biggest highlights of the year (in the crazy trainwreck department, I mean) and we've all had out moments of "wow, that girl is crazy" or "she definitely needs help" when it came to her. No, don't get me wrong. I'm not in a giving, generous post-Christmas mood here (actually quite the opposite), but I must say that much of the outrageous entertainment news this year were about Brit, so why not pay some sort of twisted, crazy tribute to her by starting off the year with an article about her antics.

I mean, didn't you wonder? Didn't it ever cross your mind, just for a second, while digging into all those Christmas goodies (whether traditionally prepared food or Chinese takeaway, I'm not fussy), didn't you half-wonder what Britney was doing for Christmas? Well, I must confess I did – but it might have been just an after-thought in the wake of all the hours I spent investigating this trainwreck for a whole year – but I was sort of wondering... And as you may very well know, Britney never disappoints.

To answer your first question, no, Brit Brit didn't have a quiet Christmas with her kids. But hey, did you really expect the queen of all popwrecks to act like some sort of younger version of Angelina Jolie? I sure didn't. No, this year Christmas meant Brit was in full swing – again, acting more and more like someone who escaped from an institution that treats mentally unstable former celebrities. Not only did she embark in yet another pointless drive (with a crowd of paparazzi in tow) during which she stopped to change outfits and use the bathroom for about fifty times, but she also managed to pick up a paparazzi called Adnan, whom she presumably turned into her new man (I almost wrote lover but then I remembered I still needed to eat lunch soon).

So, in case you were wondering whether the magic of Christmas really works on those who really need it, here's a sad piece of news: most of the times, it doesn't. I mean, it might work on nice, well-adjusted people with nice families – but then such people rarely need Christmas-time miracles happening to them. Plus there's the added downside of the fact that Brit Brit isn't on the list, nor has she been on the list in a long time. I don't really know what to say except... well, to wish that one day (Christmas or not) her troubles will be over and we'll just breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe, one day, in about a million years or so...


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