No, Kate, No! Don't Go Back to the Doherty!

Kate Moss is taking a well-deserved break from the madness that has surrounded her life lately, what with her highly publicized split from Pete Doherty, her new romance with Jamie Hince and her generally busy and over-the-top life as a world-famous supermodel. And of course, just to round off the whole thing nicely, there's all the alcohol abuse Kate is famous for, the odd cat fight with Sienna Miller every now and then, you know, just the boring details in the everyday life of the rich and famous. Only now there seems to be a terrible danger lurking in the shadows - and it's not new, only a lot stinkier and allegedly sober.

You guessed it - it's Doherty again. And boy, is he serious about it. The world's luckiest crack-head has not only managed to keep himself out of jail again and get himself released from a drugs treatment order (as a result of testing negative, or so they say) but he's got big plans which include making up with Kate Moss, taking over the world and making crack legal in Britain. I'm kidding about the last two, but I speak the truth about the "want Kate back" part - and already I can feel bad vibes coming both from him, like in one of those cheap, alien-invading-the-world horror movies: "need. Kate. Back. Need. Crack". Yes, something along these lines.

The rumors about Doherty being intent on getting his former lover back may not have been perceived as more than a former addict's desire for some loving or the delusional hopes of a guy who has been in bad need of therapy for a long time. However, all is not well in the Moss paradise either, as reports emerged about Kate and new man Jamie having a huge fight as a result of Jamie discovering that the supermodel had been calling her ex during his rehab sting in a clinic called Clouds House.

Which takes us to the current state of affairs, with Kate and Hince on a beach in Souther France, but instead of non-stop smooches, we see photos of a decidedly cooler Kate and an overdressed, slightly confused Jamie. Which may not look as much to you, but I can smell Doherty-induced melancholy a mile off. Really. So, please, all you Doherty-haters out there, please pray or think negative thoughts or something, we need the crack-head clean but as far away from Kate as possible. And I'm not even kidding about that.