Nicole Kidman is usually one of the most private celebrities in showbiz, often going to extreme lengths to keep her personal life away from the prying eye of the cameras of the paparazzi. However, she makes an exception in the latest issue of the British GQ, where she agrees to discuss topics as off-limits until now as her lovers, her marriage to Tom Cruise and being wife to Keith Urban.

For starters, the actress reveals that, despite her moniker of “Ice Queen,” she is far from one in the bedroom. Until she married country singer Urban, Kidman tried all things that she fancied at one point or another, with the result that she can now appreciate what she has even more. Still, she says, her marriage to Keith is anything but ordinary, despite having been for several years together and having a baby daughter.

“I’ve explored obsession. I’ve explored loss and love in terms of being in a grief-stricken place, […] I’ve explored the mundane aspect of marriage, and monogamy.” Kidman says of her past romantic experiences. “You work on it. It’s a very extraordinary, adventurous place to be: incredibly raw, incredibly dangerous and you’re very much out at sea. You're exposed. You could drown. When you commit to someone like that, you live and die together by that decision.” the star adds about her marriage to Keith Urban.

However, it was not always like that. For instance, Nicole remembers being married to Tom Cruise and being so head over heels in love that she would not – could not – listen to reason. Of course, she doesn’t regret the choice she made because she got to learn a lot from it, but she does regret that the marriage did not work out. Also on the topic of her relationship with Cruise, Kidman also recollects how people in the business warned her not to let herself go with the flow for purely professional reasons.

“I became famous very young. I became very famous because I was the wife of somebody. I did a lot of good, worthwhile work in Australia between the ages of 14 and 19 and then I married someone famous. And really, despite the huge profile that brought to me, I was still finding my feet. I know my agents at the time were like ‘Do not get married! It will ruin your career!’ and I was like ‘But I’m in love.’ All I know is that I wasn’t someone interested in fame. And that’s not why I got married. I wanted to work with people who intrigued me.” Nicole Kidman further says.