I have to hand it to him. Mario is without a doubt the luckiest guy on the planet, and he doesn't even have a real body. He just jumps around like a cretin all day long and what does he do? He steals all the women leaving us, tripping over coins and mushrooms as he rushes to satisfy them all.

And it's not just this Top 7 Geek Panties (for girls) that has Mario winning first place easy (for the billionth time since the '80s), but an older piece of sexy news too, involving porn stars and their impressions on video games. First things first though. The Mario panties! They are thongs, yes, and "they are in Mario colors and they have Mario on them," as gamegirl.com's Jan insists on pointing out. Check them out below!




credits: gamegirl.com

Of course, as a guy, rather than seeing your girl take off Mario who's been touching her all day, I reckon this is more what you'd want to see (again, this is from a guy's perspective):


credits: gamegirl.com

The Bonus Stage panties tell the truth alright. Newcomers should worry about going through a few levels (possibly even a tutorial) before advancing to a bonus stage. That's if they don't get lucky, and novices do get lucky from time to time.

Achievement Locked panties come in third on gamegirl.com's top 7 Geek Panties, but the message is equally true as with the one on the panties above. You don't earn an achievement twice and you certainly don't get another go at it, if you were bad. Unless you change your Gamertag that is...


credits: gamegirl.com

And now for yet more proof that even porn stars are attracted to Mario's thick mustache, here's a GameDaily interview with porn star Veronique Vega, who had this to say when asked who would she pick if she had to choose between Sonic The Hedgehog and Mario: "Mario." Plain and simple, short and concise, like-it-was-the-obvious answer... Mario. GameDaily dared asking "Why?" Finally we know why Mario has such a big impact on women: "Sonic is blue and he wears those old sneakers. I don't find sneakers too attractive on my men," said Veronique.


credits: gamedaily.com

AHA! Pardon me while I rush home and burn all my sneakers. Had I known this sooner, oh...! Teach us master Mario!