I'm really ashamed of myself. A couple of days ago I actually wrote a post in which I was implying - at a not-so-very-subtle level, I admit - that Jessica Alba may actually not be all that bad... Well, I was wrong. With every passing day and every interview she does, she gets more and more annoying - so much so, in fact, that I'm starting to really pray that someone out there decides to tell her to get over herself and try a massage every once in a while. You know, since she always sounds so wound up and unable to relax. And don't go saying that she's just pregnant and it's a hormone thing - we all know she was just as annoying before she was knocked up. So, now that Jessica started talking (again!) about her likes and dislikes, I began working on a little list. It's called "The Things Jessica Hates and Why It's Better for Her to Just Keep On Showing Off Her Boobs". I know, I really need to work on that title a bit more.
So, what's on today's list? Well, first of all, weddings. I mean, come on, all women hate weddings - why should Jessica be different? All that fuss about the church and the dress and the presents. It's such a horrible experience after all... "Everyone I know hates weddings. I've been to very big, beautiful and romantic weddings, but I would rather just throw a big party. I am probably going to go to get my certificate at the City Council, throw a big party for the family and that's about it". Um, OK. I mean, in the end it's every woman's choice. But still - can you at least stop bitching on about it?
Apparently, Jessica is not too thrilled about the prospect of having to care for her kid non stop, either. And you know what puzzles me the most? The fact that I simply don't understand why she doesn't keep all this to herself. She's mad at the press for writing about her and taking an interest in her life - but at the same time she seems to be asking for it. Do you feel that? I think that is the smell of hypocrisy. Here's a sample. "My brother, who is one-and-a-half years younger than me, had a baby two years ago. All of my cousins, who are all younger than me, have kids, and I've done lots of baby-sitting. But it's nice to be able to hand them back at the end of the day - especially when they're not sleeping and they have a dirty nappy. Then you can get some rest!" Yes, well, just as I was telling you...
"I want my kid to be a nerd. I want him to be really, really smart. I want them to be in the band or orchestra. No, that's a joke. I keep telling my fiancé: 'Our kid can't be cool. It has to be a nerd.' They're so much more dynamic" Jessica adds. I won't even bother to comment on this last bit. And there was me thinking she wanted a happy, healthy kid! No, really, I gotta bite my tongue harder. In any case, I promise I'll be back soon enough with more news on Jessica's boobs... I mean, statements. Better brace yourselves for some more bitchiness. Well, at least her chi chis will start growing soon enough. That should compensate for some of the annoyance factor.
|
No user comments yet.
Be the first to express your opinion using the form below!
