I never knew that Mariah Carey was so fond of hitting the beach topless. I mean, I never knew she was so fond of the world seeing her pretend to hit the beach topless, then pretend to have a good time, pretend to enjoy playing with her dog and pretend to be just a regular... well, diva having a day off at the beach. Is it just me, or are these photos very, very odd? And by odd I mean "staged to death"? Don't get me wrong, I think Mariah looks good in these shots - and she's definitely way slimmer than I expected - but still, don't you just hate it when celebrities try to play us for fools? I mean, who on earth could imagine these photos were taken just like that - I mean, spontaneously, while the pop singer was relaxed and happily frolicking around in the ocean?

Just take a look at Mariah herself. She's wearing a feisty black bikini complete with golden hasps, she's clutching at a pair of equally feisty high heels and her dress (that's what it looks like anyway) is strategically thrown over her shoulders and covering her breasts. Also, in true diva style, she's got her pooch dog with her (does anyone else think using your dog to hide your breasts from the camera is a pretty dirty trick - literally?) and is clutching at a glass of wine. Also, she's in full hair and make-up. What she's trying to tell us is something along the lines of "look at me, I'm such a classy diva. I mean really, just look at me". Want more clues that the whole thing is about as fake as Heidi Montag's boobs? Well, how about the fact that there are so many shots of Mariah and NO nipple action whatsoever?

I mean, come on - you can't be so careful and composed if all the camera action is spontaneous. We all know that Mariah is pretty much queen of posing, and this is just another well-accomplished photo op in preparation for the launch of Mimi's next studio album, which is due sometime in June. We all know the drill: stir the pot a little, cause a little controversy, release some naked (or semi-naked) shots and then watch your ratings and album sales go up. Only in Mimi's case, judging by how things are going with her album, I have a feeling she'll need to show us both boobs and have a sex tape before we decide her album is worth the money. Just a thought...