The important thing is to know which lies are acceptable and which are not

Jul 25, 2014 19:45 GMT  ·  By

For some reason, telling lies is frowned upon by society. Still, it looks like there are certain perks to not telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth at all times, and these perks aren't just about personal gain and peace of mind.

In a paper in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B, psychology specialist Robin Dunbar with the University of Oxford in the United Kingdom and fellow researchers argue that lying is not all that bad.

These specialists claim that, every once in a while, telling lies instead of coming clean about one thing or another can benefit relationships. This is contrary to popular belief that lying is like buying a one-way ticket to Forever Alone Land.

The lies that these researchers say that can prove beneficial by strengthening social bonds are so-called white lies, i.e. things that are not true but that people say anyway in an attempt to protect someone's feelings or help them.

As detailed by Live Science, telling white lies bears the label of pro-social lying. Anti-social lying, on the other hand, boils down to telling lies in order to cover up a misdeed, and more often than not affects social bonds in a negative way.

While looking into how lying affects an individual's day-to-day interactions with friends and family, University of Oxford psychologist Robin Dunbar and colleagues pieced together and analyzed a complex model concerning social bonds.

It was thus discovered that, whereas folks who for one reason or another are big fans of telling lies just to keep themselves safe are more likely to become isolated from their entourage. Those who settle for telling only white lies have little chances to become separated from their group.

Apparently, white lies are now a fairly regular occurrence on social media websites such as Facebook. Simply put, it sometimes happens that folks hit the “Like” button not because they actually like a post or because they want to show support, but because this is somehow expected of them.

“I think that in many cases you can consider the like a white lie if it's done for reasons that having nothing to do with support,” explains Larry Rosen, a psychology professor at California State University, Dominguez Hills, in the US.

However, when it comes to what people choose to share on social media and to the things they opt to keep to themselves, specialists say that such behaviors are not a form of dishonesty, but a means of self-preservation by monitoring the truth.

“I think mostly people lie by omission, not commission. They'll post a picture of their vacation at some lovely spot, but they don't tell you they just had a miserable night in a hotel, and [that] they're tired and grumpy,” says psychology specialist Larry Rosen.