Lindsay Still Not Wearing Underwear. At Least She's Not Drinking!

I guess she has to make up for Paris and Britney's absence somehow...

By Elena Gorgan on March 20th, 2007 14:19 GMT
Now that Britney Spears is back in rehab for the third time (and chances are she will stay there for a while longer) and that Paris Hilton is busy (cough, cough!) shooting for the brand new season of her reality show, 'The Simple Life', Lindsay Lohan is left to her own devices.

In the true spirit of crotch flashers, Lindsay realized that someone out there had to carry the legacy further. And, in the name of honor and of celebrity status, she will sacrifice herself if these two other brats are too concerned with their own selves to do it! I mean, this is what you do when you truly believe in something: take these girls, they lead their lives after the Flashing Creed and, when one or more of them is incapacitated to act accordingly (as Paris and Brit are), the remaining others have to do their utmost to carry on without them.

It's like in the Mafia, only that, in this case, there are no guns or drugs (yeah, you can totally strike that last part) or risky business associations to speak of. What we have instead are the following items: boobs, asses and crotches. It's a mighty arsenal, if you think of it really hard. Also, a war is a war no matter if it's fought with hand grenades or stones... or underwear.

From this point of view, we can almost declare Lindsay Lohan the winner: here she is, looking all classy and glamorous while clubbing, while at the same time, showing the world that she really likes her firecrotch cleanly shaved. Aside from that ciggie dangling from her lips (a cigarette hasn't looked that hot in someone's mouth in ages!) and the Michael Jackson inspired glovelets, Lindsay proved once again that no bitch alive can challenge her to the title of vagina flasher of all times. Also, that she is unequaled when it comes to behaving like lady.

You see, what we have here is the classic example of how a woman should react when she realizes her stockings are running down her legs. Generally, women act all prude and stuff and head to the bathroom to fix the outfit emergency. But, from my point of view, their approach of the problem is completely wrong: instead of wasting their time with trips back and forth to the ladies' room, they should all do as Lindsay: stop dancing for a sec, put the cigarette in their mouths, lift up their skirts and then proceed to remedy the situation. If you choose not to wear any panties when all this happens, all the better: the fun you'll have is double.

I should know - that's what I usually do when I go out. Lindsay too. You see? This is not shamelessness or lack of any manners, this is what they call... ahem, class! C to the L to the A to the S to the S!
Watch and learn: how a lady holds her drink
   Watch and learn: how a lady holds her drink

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