Seriously now, Lindsay Lohan is taking over the world. I mean, she really is. We should all pack a bag with our warmest clothes and all the money we can get our hands on and start thinking about moving to the North Pole. Lindsay Lohan's face is smiling at us from the cover of Harper's Bazaar - and she's also on the cover of UK magazine Glamour this week - in an effort to make us all believe that she really is back. Um, back to what, I dare ask? Acting? She doesn't seem to have a lot of job offers pouring in, or maybe she has but she's keeping it all under wraps. Drinking? Most definitely. Her old party tricks? Well, judging by the fact that she's hitting the party scene once more (latest example - the opening of Club Villa in West Hollywood over the weekend) I'd say yes. So, despite her career heading nowhere fast, Lilo's still doing magazine covers. What for?

Well, the answer seems to be that she fancies herself a wise person - wise beyond her years and well-placed to give us all advice about how we should live our lives. It's either that or she's a compulsive narcissist who believes that the world should listen to every word that comes out of her mouth. I'd tend to agree with the latter theory, although who knows? I may be wrong... Lindsay herself thinks she's just one huge bundle of energy, just dying to share all her antics with... well, anyone who cares to listen. "I have it in me to go, go, go. I'm still young. I love life. I love music and being around that. I love people, and I'm a very social person. But I also love being home, quiet and normal... I've always been a homebody... Seriously... I was just running away from what my home had become". So, sociable but also a homely person. She's quite the ideal gal, isn't she?

"When I look back on this last year, it's like, what was I thinking? The cameras are constantly there, and they're constantly looking for the negative. So one roll of the eyes and you're deemed drunk. One wrong step, your ankle twists, and you're drunk. They can declare, 'Lindsay drunk in the day!' Which I never was in my life, actually". Yes, well, that's true - the media is the bada*s here and poor Lindsay is one nice, well-behaved little girl. I mean, it couldn't possibly be that she has an alcohol problem and THAT'S why she's deemed a drunk? No, that's just impossible. Well, as I was saying, better have that bag packed and ready. Lindsay's back, which means the streets of L.A. are probably just as dangerous a place as when Britney was still allowed to drive a car.