I was just about to ask myself what magazine would be reckless enough to put Lindsay Lohan on the cover when my eyes fell on the March issue of UK magazine "Glamour", which is sporting a very slutty-looking, heavily made-up LiLo in a red dress, proclaiming "2007 was a rough year. But I'm back". I'm sorry to say I don't believe either of those statements to be accurate - unless you agree with me and think that LiLo probably means she's back to her old tricks, partying and hitting up the clubs every few nights - not to mention doing some heavy duty drinking. Yes, it would make sense if we put it like that. The funny thing is, everybody around her - well, everybody who sees her, even without being her best pal - instantly knows that none of the things that she says make sense. Everyone except Lindsay herself, who still believes that when she talks, the world stops to listen.

She also takes herself way too seriously. I mean, why else would she speak about temptation in Hollywood unless she thought she was over it? "I don't think it's just young Hollywood - it's the process of growing up. I've learned the hard way but, all in all, you learn and you grow and you become a stronger person" she says. Oh, and of course, none of the rumors about her sleeping around are true. No, she didn't hook up with three different men in Capri a month ago. No, that was our sick imagination making things up about poor LiLo - because we're just mean that way and don't understand her. "If I'd been with every man I've been linked with I'd probably be dead by now! Generally speaking, my friends are much worse - I'm the goody-goody one by comparison. I've had to grow up fast. I've had a lot of responsibility from a young age".

I'm not sure I understand that - what does she mean by "responsibility"? Is she talking about the freedom to bang whoever she pleases? And what's that part about her friends being worse than her - are we still talking about sleeping around? Because really, if LiLo is the nice one, I'd sure not like to meet any of the others. The conclusion is that LiLo is good and the world simply doesn't want to believe that. We're all just stupid like that. "The biggest misconception is probably that I don't have my head in the right place. That, and probably that I'm not a good person. That makes me sad, because actually I am". Yes, nice and modest. And realistic. Totally...