Lily Allen's Dad Used Her to Sell Drugs

Well, everything makes much more sense now, I have to admit. And yes, before you ask, I am feeling just a little bit sorry for making fun of Lily Allen so many times and laughing at her drugged-out behavior. Turns out, there's a really good explanation for it. Lily's dad has just come out to state - quite shamelessly, in fact - that when he was younger he used young Lily (young as in barely 8 months old) to sell drugs.

Well, I have a feeling Lily is probably going to need a lot of therapy from now on to get over this. And I totally understand her drug-seeking behavior. I mean, who knows what her daddy used to slip her as a kid in between peddling drugs in order to keep her quiet while having a drink (or more) with his mates? Anyway, Keith Allen is trying to sell his autobiography, and so he is starting to dig into the dirty laundry basket in a rather lame attempt to spice things up and gain some media attention.

He may be getting attention, but he's definitely not getting any love. I mean, just how stupid can you be, admitting to being an irresponsible parent and expecting people to find it funny or impressive? Keith Allen admitted to using the eight-month old Lily to sell nitrate poppers. He confessed that he was in the habit of bringing baby Lily along with him to the Glastonbury festival while he sold drugs and used her as some sort of sick marketing tool.

"I didn't see what was wrong with taking little Lily along with me as a sales tool rather like the homeless lads do with dogs. Cute puppy guarantees punters will stop and stroke it and therefore give you money. Lil' sat next to the stall gurgling in a pushchair while I cranked up the sales patter and knocked out the lager". Lovely - just wonderful. Really, this guy should be nominated for the "lifetime achievement" section of the "daddy of the Year" competition. He even makes Brit Brit sound like a responsible, relaxed and knowledgeable parent.

See what I meant about the poor girl needing therapy? I mean, just imagine what she must have inhaled, drunk or sniffed out - either by accident or...not. I wonder what she feels about her daddy going public with his horrible parenting skills like that. The fact is, I'm thankful he did. At least now I understand more about Lily - and I'm not even joking on this one. Where's Supernanny with a sledge hammer when you need her?