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Leave Jessica Simpson's Boobs Alone!!!I mean, they've already been through a lot... |
By Monica Gaza, Entertainment News Editor
17th of January 2008, 09:40 GMT
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I tell you, where is Chrissy Crocker when you need... um, him? Someone, quick, give me the number of this champion, this brave (fe)male defender of all celebrities in distress! We need an intervention! This is an emergency, y'all - and we don't have the time to make fun of such serious issues. We need a new clip from Chrissy, and we need it now.
OK, I was joking - I really was - the world really doesn't want or even remotely need anything from that pompously disturbed pre-pubescent pseudo-gay disaster, but as I was reading up and doing a little bit of research for this Jessica-gate scandal that seems to be in full swing at the moment, I couldn't help myself thinking back at the whole "Leave Britney alone" rage that boosted Crocker's profile enough for... him, I guess... to enjoy his 15 minutes of fame - which, by the way, have long been over. And I really find it funny that no one caught on and developed this idea in Jessica's case as well. Yet.
In case you've just flown in form a Scientology convention that took place in a galaxy far, far away and you don't know the finer details of the scandal I was telling you about, here's a heads up. Everyone in Texas is pissed at Jessica Simpson - and by "pissed" I mean very, very, very angry - for allegedly messing with the mind and the playing abilities of one Tony Romo, quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys and the blonde actress' latest boy toy. The fact is, the Cowboys were kicked out of the play-offs over the past weekend by the New York Giants and there are voices in Texas - well, quite a lot of voices, actually - blaming the blonde for dragging Romo and a couple of his team mates to a beach resort in Mexico before the big game and thus messing with their training and concentration.
I always suspected we live in a cold, cruel world, but now I have confirmation of that. Poor Jessica has been called all sorts of names and I know she's probably crying her eyes out right now on her daddy's shoulder. Kidding. But the fact is, someone did feel the need to defend Jessica - but thankfully, it was not tranny Crocker. No, it was Jessica's ex, singer John Mayer, who took to his blog to beg Texans to stop blaming the blonde walking disaster for... well, their team's disaster.
"I have never known anyone to have more pride in their home state and their upbringing in it than Jessica Simpson has in Texas" he writes. "That girl loves Texas more than you know. It's one of her most defining traits as a person. So please don't try and take that away from her". Yes, I definitely think I'm going to cry. Well, come on, man - don't be such a killjoy! Let people have a bit of fun poking and prodding Jessica - since it's so easy to make fun of her. And although I applaud Mayer's efforts, I think a more appropriate blog entry would have been "Look, you and I already know this girl can't act or sing - but at least she looks good, so there's no point picking on her boobs. Less talking, more staring". Yeah, that would have been just about right...
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