Kid Rock (or Pebble) to Run For President

Remember me telling you that kid Rock ranked among the world's most profound thinkers? Well, you can refresh your memory here and then come back to learn more about his intellectual exploits that will most certainly shock and amaze you. It seems that Kid Rock (or, in the words of another contemporary classic that goes by the name of Tommy Lee, "Kid Pebble") has been in a temper recently, and he needs people to pick on. So he does just that, and his latest victim (which he thankfully hasn't assaulted just yet) is actor Sean Penn.

Now, as you may know, Sean Penn has repeatedly expressed his anti-war views and is somewhat a celebrity in the area of expressing his views rather bluntly. So in the latest issue of Penthouse Magazine (yes, I know, it's probably the best place to talk politics in the whole world), Kid Rock directed his brilliant line of thought and subtle documented capacity for analysis at Penn.

"These kids [U.S. soldiers] are very young and a lot of them think people who oppose the war are against them. You have to be very careful with what you talk about - especially when you are some Hollywood f**ker. Just because you made a great movie doesn't make you are an expert on foreign policy. I was at the White House drinking a Beam and Coke, shooting the s**t with Rumsfeld, when [President] Bush came by and gave me five like we were on Seven Mile and Van Dyke in Detroit. If it weren't for guns and people who know how to use them in America, we'd all be sitting around with swastikas saying, 'Heil Hitler!' "

All I can say is wow, impressive. Not only does he manage to brag about rubbing shoulders with the best of the best, he also believes himself an authority in the field of politics. I mean yes, I have heard that drinking out of the same bottle (separate glasses though) with a politician will give you part of his charisma and fluency, but I never thought it would broaden one's mind like that. I almost feel like shouting "Kid Pebble for President". Kidding.

The fact is, Pebble is a cowboy at heart, I always suspected. But I must also admit I'm profoundly impressed. He knows who the Nazi were? He has actually heard of Hitler? But I'm keeping my skepticism - he probably read about Hitler in a magazine and thought he was a computer game action figure of sorts. Yes, that's got to be it. But seriously now, if this guy is talking politics, we'll be hearing Pamela Anderson tomorrow talking military strategy. Or Brit Brit talking commando operations for busting drug dealers. It's a mad, mad world out there - just ask Pebble, he'll tell you.