Judge Warns Brit to Keep Off Booze. Following Night: Britney Gets Drunk

I've wasted so much time wondering whether Britney really is THAT stupid. It doesn't matter what about - she just is. And I'm starting to think the only strategy that's likely to work with the popwreck is reverse psychology. We should get a judge to order her to drink till she pukes, and I'm sure that in a couple of weeks' time she'll be named model mom of the year. I don't know whether it's conscious or not, but Britney displays an almost pathological need to make everybody understand that she just doesn't care. About anything - not even about the things we'd assume she'd want to keep close to her.

Like her children, for example. But if she really wants to keep them, then she's doing a very poor job at it, seeing how the same day she was told she needs to follow strict guidelines in order to keep shared custody with her ex-husband, Britney hit the clubs. Not only that, but she also drank a lot and put on a show for the benefit of her group, which included Canadian singer Avril Lavigne and her cousin, assistant and wannabe pop singer Alli Sims.

As she stepped out of her house, Britney was swamped by paparazzi, who dogged her every move and followed her around, thus making it even more obvious that the disgraced former pop diva was looking for some serious fun. Brit was first seen at Winston's in West Hollywood, which she reportedly left around 1 a.m., and then spotted at Hyde Lounge again in West Hollywood, partying hard until approximately 2 a.m. when the club closed.

And if you have any doubts left about the fact that Britney really has effed everybody, this is what an onlooker at the Hyde stated. "They kept bringing her shots and so they were drinking. She was dancing on the tables trying to be really sexy, even putting a black sock over her head as a hat, and putting on a show for everyone".

Yes, Britney dear, that's the way to go - get drunk. It looks like Spears forgot that the judge who mercifully (but only temporarily) allowed her to keep shared custody of her boys pending another hearing in October, also ordered twice-weekly tests on the pop tart to check for any alcohol and substance abuse. At this point, all I can say is "d'oh!". The people who will perform the testing really have the easiest job in the world. All they have to do is turn on their computer and show up on Brit's doorstep first thing next morning. At this rate, Brit better be packing the kids' stuff and sending it to K-Fed, as losing custody seems more and more like a simple formality.