Jordan and Her Ponies

You just have to love Jordan. Katie Price. One of them, anyway. She's such a lovely, multi-faceted person with so many different hobbies and preoccupations. She's really one of the busiest persons alive, whenever she can spare some time from looking sexy on magazine covers and talking about every stupid, silly little thing that pops into her mind. I mean, we just can't have enough of Jordan. She's such an intellectual challenge - a delight really. Whenever we believe we've said and heard just about everything we could say and hear from and about her, she amazes us with something new and spectacular.

Like this book about ponies. No, really, this is not a joke. Katie Price has a book out about ponies and how to look after them. It's glossy and pink and called "Katie Price's Perfect Ponies". I must admit, the first time I read the title I sort of missed the word "Ponies". My gossip-riddled brain jumped straight to the first three words and if truth be told I must say I was expecting something along the lines of "Katie Price's Perfect Boobies" or "Katie Price's Perfect Sex Tape" but as a very wise man once said, you can't have everything in life.

But I must say, even though ponies are very exciting, I pronounce myself extremely disappointed that Jordan hasn't slipped at least half a page with juicier stuff. It doesn't necessarily has to be a treat, like the time when she talked about the size of her man's penis and compared it to that of a TV remote control. It doesn't even have to be about her vagina tightening and her nightmarish sex life. But I'm sure there are plenty of stable and hay fantasies out there about which she can bless us with her opinions.

I definitely don't want to ruin any kid's day saying all this. It's just that I can't help myself being extremely in awe of Jordan's versatile brain. Katie's pony care gift book claims to give expert advice derived from Jordan's own hands-on experience in everything, including mucking out. Is there anything in which this girl doesn't have hands on experience (and I mean that in the un-dirtiest way possible)? Anyway, I'm looking forward on that "101 vagina-tightening tips" book she promised - although I have a feeling the details are going to be a killer. Literally.