Jordan and Her Boobs - Episode Four

Dear Jordan! I was beginning to miss the orange beauty queen. She is such a sweet, natural-looking woman. I mean, she's totally my idol. OK, I'm joking about the last part, but really, few other celebrities (except maybe that luscious piece of hot sexiness that is CoCo) have this gift of making my day when all other hope fades. I mean it – Jordan only has to show up and it instantly gives me a boost. And if on top of showing up she also decides to open her mouth and talk, then it's party time.

And since we all know Jordan is just about the world's number one narcissist, it makes perfect sense that she chose to talk about herself and the one part of her body she simply adores – her boobs. And when Jordan talks boobs, the world better pay attention. This time around, it seems that the curvy blonde is again dissatisfied with the shape of her breasts and has decided to go under the knife – again! - in order to make everything look perfect. And just so that the whole thing has an added twist, Jordan has announced that boob job number four will be hubby Pete Andre's Christmas present.

I think that makes perfect sense. I mean, these two have pretty much done every crazy thing in this world – and shared the details with the whole wide world. We all know by now just how big Pete's penis is, we know that Jordan would like to have her vagina tightened and we know that the couple's sex life is sometimes similar to a horror movie. Well, just in case you were running out of nightmarish visions to keep you company as you fall asleep at night, imagine Jordan gift-wrapping her boobs, adding two giant ribbons and handing herself over to Pete for...unwrapping. Great, now I'm going to have that image stuck in my mind all day...

"My breasts have gone saggy after three children, so I want them perked up and made smaller. They’ll still be big, but not as big and I’m going to go for the fake, American-style boob-job. I really love that", she stated. I must confess, I have no idea exactly what she's talking about, but I did get the bottom line – she's going to have another boob job done. However, a friend of the model's claims that it's only her boobies that are getting a nip/tuck. "She won’t have anything else drastic done on her face. She thinks when people start having it done when they’re young, by the time they get to their thirties and forties, they start looking weird".

From that I take it that Jordan sees her three times surgically-styled boobs as perfectly natural and normal? Yes, heaven forbid she goes for the plastic look, we all know that would look absolutely horrible on her, wouldn't you agree? And I'm pretty sure Pete will agree too– after all, it's not like he's recently changed color himself and has gone for the orange, fake-tan look. No, that would be absolutely horrible.

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