Jordan Will Deflate in the Near Future

Sad news brings the end of the world an inch closer: Jordan, or Katie Price, or 'that British lady with huge bazookas' announced that she wants to have her breasts reduced... by a lot! As the 'Daily Mirror' published an interview with the model/writer/actress/singer, hearts all over the world could be heart breaking from sheer pain.

When she began her career, Jordan was just a regular A-sized girl with big dreams. Now, she is a 30G femme fatale, with an impressive bank account and even bigger dreams. But all that she really wants is to get rid of the burden that hangs low on her chest, her plastic boobies, as a present for hubby Peter Andre.

The model told the newspaper that she and Peter want to have another child pretty soon and, discouraged by the miscarriage she suffered a couple of months ago, she wants to do everything by the book this time. So, she is going again to the surgeon's and she's having her balloons deflated.

'I hate them. Get them out of me. Yuk. I'm having them reduced and I can't wait. I want them done by Christmas for Peter.', Katie complained to the mag. But there's more here than meets the eye: it's not just the desire for another child that made her take this decision. 'They're saggy. Men may think they're great but they're just not pert any more and it's a turn-off. I used to love them but I don't need them any more', she added.

Besides, she hardly leaves the house now, so there's nobody to show them off to. And Peter can always settle for less, Jordan explains: 'I hardly ever go out now. I'm always with Peter so I don't need to show them off. I want another baby but I've got to get a boob job first'.

Mrs. Andre will rock her new boobs come Christmas, when she and her permanently tanned soul mate will launch their duet album 'A Whole New World'. Indeed, a whole new world in which Jordan's boobs are not omnipresent... what a bleak thought to live with!... (sigh)