Jordan Is Sex-Crazed, That Much Is for Sure.

Jordan might be a lot of things, from designer to writer, to perfume creator and television star, but one thing that she definitely is not is subtle. Or, if you like to look at things from another perspective, she's that too if, when the term 'subtlety' pops into your mind, you instantly picture a huge, pink (or blonde), big-breasted elephant trying to find its way in a China shop. In that case, glamour model is as subtle as it gets. No arguments from me here.

For those who don't keep up with the life of Britain's most beloved cover girl, she just gave birth to a precious little girl she and husband Peter Andre named Princess Tiaamii. In true celebrity fashion, weeks after delivering the child into this world, both Jordan and Peter, along with their Princess graced the cover of one of the popular magazines. Naturally, the issue also included a lengthy interview with the brand new mommy, thank to which we got to find out where the rather unusual name came from, how it feels like to have a daughter with ginger hair, how much they – as parents – dote on her and, last but not least, just how big is Peter's penis.

The relation between the first part (with the baby coming and all) and the last one (with the penis) is something that goes beyond my power of comprehension, so I'll refrain from saying more on it. These are Jordan's exact words, from 'OK!' Magazine: 'It's (the penis) the size of the Sky+ one – the one with the gray bits on – that's bigger than normal remote. We can have it (sex) now but we have to take it easy, I don't want a ripped-out uterus thank you!'. Clearly, if she knows that it's bigger than a certain type of remote, she must have had some fun measuring it! Sorry, I couldn't help myself on that one!

To keep up with the classy note she set, Jordan is again talking about sex and her husband's private parts. Don't get me wrong, I love Jordan just as much as any other plastic-boobied glamour model and I positively adore it when she puts her sex life on the plate like that. However, I'm not sure reading about Peter Andre's shaved anus is exactly something I couldn't have lived without. But, if Jordan is so eager to share that priceless piece of information with us, we might as well listen to what the woman has to say.

'Pete even shaves his a*shole. Well, doesn't shave it, but uses Veet to make it go bald. He's very clean down there, like a baby.', the model said in a recent interview. And, if all that is not enough to make you go 'yuck!' or simply 'Gee! Always good to know that! Who knows when it might come in handy!', here's more on their sex life: 'We get in the bath together a lot! But we have to plan sex really carefully. With kids it's always hard as one of them could walk in, and then you're like, "Arggh!"'.

Arrgh, indeed!