Jordan Feels She's Losing Her Sexiness - Say What?

Did you guys miss Jordan too? We sure did - but I must say I'm pretty disappointed. I was really expecting something along the lines of her last round of spectacular revelations - when she gave us all the goods on the size of her husband Peter Andre's penis, told us he likes to shave his butt and confessed to not sitting on the toilet in front of him. Plus all the usual rant about coming up with new ways to spice up their sex life and the fulminating conclusion that she would like to have her vagina tightened at some point in the near future.

Well, now it seems that there's more to Jordan than being plain dumb and dissing things left and right that are better left unsaid. A friend of hers has felt the need to come forward with the news that poor Jordan is feeling insecure and feels she's losing her sex appeal. Wait...I can't remember, was there a time when people actually found Jordan really really sexy? The answer is - yes, they did, but not any longer.

"She knows she hasn't got the same sex appeal for the men's magazines that she used to have. Not long ago they were all desperate to have her on the front cover, but recently the calls seem to have dried up" the source says. OK, now the big mystery is solved - we're talking about men's magazines here. Well, there is a good chance they're not calling because big-boobed blondes are not a rarity in Britain yet.

"She loves the 'Jordan' character she created, but is now worried she is destined to be perceived as a boring housewife for the rest of her career". Housewife? That would mean people would actually remember her, but not as a housewife. That's actually a term of endearment. I bet it will be something along the lines of "that big-mouthed blonde who said her hubby's thingy is the size of a remote control". And I still can't believe someone would be stupid enough to say and mean that.

"Jordan loves being wined and dined and being taken out, but it isn't happening enough for her anymore" her friend adds. I have this feeling she was sort of seeing herself like an heiress to Victoria Beckham - less in matters of style, but at least she would have a bigger mouth and would keep us all rolling on the floor laughing on a weekly basis. So, my advice is, go on guys, root for Jordan. She's only 29 - get her on the covers again and this could be the beginning of a beautiful (and hilarious) friendship.