Jordan's Scarred Nipples Are NOT Sexy!

I know we live in the age of plastic surgery - an age in which we learn to look at ourselves with an increasingly critical eye and enjoy the comforting thought that we can surgically correct pretty much all the features we believe are not perfect. I always thought cosmetic surgery was dangerous and addictive (anyone remember a man called Michael Jackson?), primarily because it gives people the notion that they can do whatever they want to their bodies (like eat way too much or enjoy drunken, drug-fueled romps every night for a year) and then just go under the knife and undo it. It's a very alluring prospect, I admit - a little surgery here and all that unwanted fat disappears. A little scalpel magic there and all of a sudden, you have a new pair of boobs, smoother skin, a straighter nose, no wrinkles.

And yet, dangerous and addictive as it may be, cosmetic surgery is all the rage these days. Everybody does it, from movie stars to fame-hungry starlets to porn actresses to ordinary people in the street. In the end, it's a matter of money, personal choice and being able to correctly assess the risks and the possible side effects and negative consequences. But can we at least keep the gross side of cosmetic surgery under wraps? I mean, it's one thing to show off a new pair of (surgically enhanced) boobs, and it's a completely different - and disgusting - thing when you decide to show off your scars, sliced boobs, or sewed-on nipples. No, don't look at me like that - I'm actually not kidding. I wish I were, but I'm not. Latest example? The queen of all things gross, the no-longer-big-boobed Jordan just hit an all-time exhibitionist low when she put her breasts on display again, and slipped a nipple - in a very disgusting way.

In case you're wondering what Jordan is doing in these shots, I can safely tell you that no, she's not performing some complicated striptease act, nor is she about to start shooting for her very own sex tape. No, she' actually launching a book she wrote - yes, in case you didn't know, Jordan can actually write - and giving us a nipple slip in the process. And I'm not talking any old nipple slip - but one that shows off her scarred nipples, that appear to have been sewn onto her breast in the course of one of the many boob jobs she had done. You can have a look at the close-up image, but be warned - it's potentially disturbing and slightly NSFW. All I can say is "gross". I mean really, really gross. I do hope someone out there will kindly explain to Jordan that we really don't need to see her boobs at all now, scars or no scars. And since the boobs are attached to Jordan herself, the best thing to do is buy a farm somewhere in New Zealand and retire to a life of milking cows and feeding chicken. So, how about it?