Jessica Simpson Turned John Mayer Gay

I must say, I never actually cared too much about John Mayer's post-Chestica Simpson life, except that of course, I was very relieved that he had got away before turning even fuglier than he already was. I mean, come on - we're talking Jessica Simpson, folks, the most amazingly talented dumb blonde in the universe. OK, maybe "dumb" is a strong word. Let's put a friendly spin on it and go with "slightly sillier that you'd expect". Anyway, we're dealing with a lady who is so much decided to cover everything she says, thinks, sings...can't think of anything else she does, in a coat of sugar, spice and everything nice that will almost certainly give you diabetes.

But I never thought Jessica's charms would be enough to turn her ex-lover gay. No, I'm just kidding here - I don't have definitive, reliable information that Mayer is definitely gay, but then again, in most cases we never get to know for sure and we're kept guessing, and guessing... Just ask Tom Cruise, he'll tell you. But back to John - I was just telling you that the paparazzi just caught him looking hot and walking hand in hand with another guy - check out the photo HERE. Which may mean nothing and everything - as reality is most of the times made up of what we personally chose to believe about the things we get to see.

Like, for instance, we see John Mayer walking down the street holding hands with another man. It could be that he's gay and out for a walk with his partner, he could be doing it on a dare, he could be fooling around or just trying to start a gay rumor in order to get more attention onto himself. Or he could have hated Jessica Simpson so badly, that he vowed never to go near another blonde woman again in his life - in which case he settled for a man. So he's straight, but scared of women.

Four different perspectives, three of which actually make sense and the fourth only makes sense if you add Jessica Simpson's charms into the equation. Which one we're gonna believe, everyone? I'll go with the last one - my reality is shaped by what I choose to believe, right? Some things, however - like Jessica being a drag girlfriend capable of scaring a guy into dissing the ladies forever - are easier to believe than others, wouldn't you agree?