Jessica Simpson's dad has long been considered one of those freaks one simply has to stay away from. It's not that Joe Simpson is creepy as a person, so don't get all judgmental on me or anything, but his statements and managerial decisions (he also functions as Jessica and Ashlee's publicist and manager) are, er, a bit off. Like that time when he bragged about Jessica's natural breasts and called them 'puppies'. Or that time when, again, he went on record by saying that he's proud of Jessica's (again!) breasts because they are not made of silicon. Or his obstinacy of forcing Jessica, who is a decently talented singer, to do movies when it's clear as daylight that she can't act if her life depended on it.
Speaking of which, if we were to believe Joe, Jessica could have been in a year or so the proud owner of an Oscar statuette... by playing the part of a porn star! And HE said no because, obviously, he doesn't want his daughter to strip, even if it's for an Oscar. 'The last script that came to us was for Jessica to be a porn star', Joe told 'People' Magazine yesterday. And, apparently, playing the role of a porn star is guaranteed Oscar-material. You know, like 'Show Girls' also took home so many Oscars when it was released years ago... Just kidding.
Jessica's father doesn't want his daughter to strip for a role and I believe no one can actually hold it against him, it's only natural. However, this doesn't stop us from feeling frustrated that, if we're gonna see so much of her on the silver screen in the near future, the least she can do to make the ordeal a bit easier on us would be to show some skin. It's not like she hasn't done it before! Come to think of it, how come papa Joe approved of the video for 'These Boots Were Made for Walking'?
Anyway, here goes Joe: 'We were promised we would win an Oscar with that. I was like, "Eh, we'll just buy a [statue of a] little man and keep our clothes on".' Good thinking! But there are some things that could use clearing: number one, people don't go around promising other people Oscars! It just doesn't work that way, no matter how convenient it might sound. And, n￭mero dos, if you buy an Oscar statuette, it does not have the same value as the one you win fair and square. But I can't say I don't agree with his decision, no matter how much it pains me to admit it.
To end this on a bright note: Jessica will have lots and lots of new projects coming out this year. Yes, try to contain your enthusiasm, but 'Jessica has three more movies to shoot; she has a new record coming in September. If the right role came up, of course, we'd never turn that down.', says Joe. I guess we can just take this post and include it in our list of porn fantasies that could never be, or simply remember it as that Jessica Simpson porn role that almost happened.
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