Jessica Simpson Makes a Fool of Herself in Another Movie

The few. The proud. The brainless blonde. That should in fact have been the dub for Jessica Simpson's latest catastrophe...I mean, movie. And if you thought she might have somehow been discouraged by the scathing reviews she received for Blonde Ambition, think again. Jess - or rather her sweet papa Simpson - is not usually discouraged by such details as a movie that bombs and disgraces the lead actress - who in fact is not really worthy of that title. So, she soldiers on (in the literal way) and manages to ruin another movie.

I have a shrewd suspicion that Jessica fancies herself as some sort of Goldie Hawn wannabe - either that or she's watched "Private Bejamin" one time too many and thinks she too can actually make silly and clueless look attractive. The fact is, her kind of silly (read that plain stupid) only makes us laugh - at her abysmall acting skills which, some people would say is not really good news.

After trying and failing to portray a country girl who finds herself put in charge of a multimillion corporation, Simpson will now step into the boots of a singer / actress who's down on her luck and tries to come up with a way of convincing a movie producer that she is fit to take on a soldier role in his latest movie. The new movie is called "Major Movie Star" and the only way Simpson's character sees fit to express her power of conviction is to enroll in the Army and go to bootcamp. You can imagine the rest - well, actually I'm not sure you should. I just sort of remotely half-imagine all the things Jess could do wrong while trying to play such a part and I feel myself cringe.

The fact is, I have another suspicion - this movie is autobiographical. Yes, I know, it took me sort of long to figure out the obvious when the answer was right there . All that emphasis on how the character played by Simpson is an actress and a singer that no one likes anymore (not sure if the movie actually states if at some point there was someone who appreciated the main character - I'd tend to say no) - it should have dawned on me. But really, in all honesty, why would anyone invest real money into a movie which was doomed right from the moment when they sent Simpson the script. If you happen to find out the answer, please drop me a note - and give me some advice, too, on how to explain to a talentless blonde that there's more to acting than standing, pointing, grunting and looking clueless.