Cinema

Jessica Simpson Bombs

She is officially the world's worst actress

By Monica Gaza, Entertainment News Editor

27th of December 2007, 12:10 GMT

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I must confess I honestly thought Jessica Simpson couldn't get any more pathetic than she already was. But I was wrong - which goes to show that it doesn't pay off to underestimate such a lovely, talented girl. I mean, really, we should all stop being so mean (I think that part was actually on my Christmas wish list this year but I must have blown it at some point) and acknowledge that Jessica is just about the most skillful and subtle actress in Hollywood - only for some reason, a lot of mean, mean people take a lot of pleasure in mocking her. For nothing.

OK, I was kidding - except for the part in which I actually promised myself I'd stop being mean with poor Jessica - but I've been trying hard to find something nice to say about her and I failed miserably - so here I am, back to talking bad things about her. Shame on me.

The funny part is that this time, I really do have a reason for... well, not praising Jessica. I really don't know who told her she can act, but that person sure hated her guts and should face a lengthy jail sentence, in my modest opinion. The fact is, Jessica has a new movie out - it's called "Blonde Ambition" and it's just about one of the worse movies in cinema history. It was meant to be a straight-to-DVD release, but someone apparently pulled some strings and managed to ensure that the movie made its way to the big screen over the past weekend.

But please, please don't start crying because you missed it: it only opened in limited release, managing to gross less than $2,000. And it gets better: last Friday, on its opening day, there were reportedly 48 customers who wanted to see this masterpiece of a movie (that co-stars Luke Wilson) - which means that in one day it managed to gross an impressive $350. Classy!

The movie opened regionally around Texas - but that was probably not a very good idea, given that Jessica is not the most popular person in Texas at this time, mainly because her newest man, Tony Romo (who plays quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys) has been playing like s**t (if you'll pardon my French) ever since he started dating the blonde diva - which made some Cowboys fans hate the very sight of dear old Jess. So, altogether not a very good end of the year for Jessica - which makes me think that it was a bit foolish for me to try and be nice to this lovely lady. Maybe next year - but no more promises. I promise.

TAGS:

Jessica Simpson | Blonde Ambition | movie | Blonde Ambition | disaster

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