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Jessica Simpson's 15 Minutes Are UpWhy did she have to go and ruin the '80s for us? |
By Elena Gorgan, Entertainment News Editor
14th of March 2007, 14:17 GMT
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Once upon a time, there was a pop sensation named Jessica Simpson. Everything that she touched instantly turned into gold and each of her endeavors was appreciated by the public who doted on her. Her albums were successful, she was popular and her first acting gig got critics singing her praise. She was also happily married and starring in her own reality show, for which millions tuned in.
That was such a long time ago that we almost forgot how it was like. These days, there is nothing that Jessica does good or, at least in the eyes of some. While she continues to be the object of a lot of media attention, her album sucked, her movie flopped, her marriage fell apart and her popularity has decreased. In time, dear Miss Simpson has become to be regarded as the perfect example (pardon my saying) of dumb blonde.
Yet, she is undeterred - nothing in this world will stop her from trying over and over again to make us like her. She is now shooting another movie... Actually, strike that: she is re-shooting some scenes for 'Blonde Ambition' because it received the crappiest of crappy feed-back from the people who went to see it at several screenings. Also, despite the fact that her 'Public Affair' did so poorly in all charts (even her husband's album did better than hers), Jessica is unleashing yet another single on us, the unsuspecting public.
A while ago, during last summer, Jessica was at some concert or another and, because people asked for her on stage, she gave her own rendition of the '80s hit 'You Spin Me Round (Like A Record Baby)' from Dead Or Alive. At the time, no one said anything about her 'performance' because it was assumed that it was just something that she did in the spur of the moment.
But the time for silence has come to an end! Not only did Jessica cover the catchy disco track, but she is also planning on releasing it. For some reason or another, the woman seems set to ruin what little is still left of the '80s nostalgia in us! Have we done something to her to deserve it, I can't help but wonder?
When I reviewed Jessica's post-divorce album, I said that she is to be appreciated and respected for the fact that she has a great singing voice. I meant that in the simplest way possible: unlike Britney who can't carry a tune, Jessica's vocals are good. Strike that, too. After you listen to her version of 'You Spin Me Round', you will see what bad pop really means. What's up with those modulations and whining? Is that supposed to be sexy? Or eighty-ish? Or something?
Anyway, don't take my word for the fact that Jessica's 15 minutes of fame are as good as over now. Click HERE to hear it for yourself. Honestly, listening to this was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life and that even includes Jordan's (the glamour model) 'A Whole New World' (the raw version)!
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