Jessica Alba really is starting to become annoying. OK, I'll be fair - she's beyond annoying, and talking more and more nonsense every day. I really think someone should take her to the hospital and check her hormone level - or maybe just take her to a nice, freshly painted house somewhere in an idyllic scenery in the south of France and keep her there until she gives birth. I'll make it even clearer: a nice, isolated, freshly painted house. Yes, that's more like it. I mean, we've heard her talk silly things in the past, and I've personally tried to ignore her statements and focus on other, more pleasing aspects of her personality (and by that I mean her good looks and her boobs in particular), but this time it's... well, you'll see. It's sort of hard to ignore.

You see, Jessica has probably taken lessons from Keira Knightley, because she seems to be dissatisfied with just about everything in her life. These days, she hates the fact that her dad, although he was of Spanish descent, didn't teach her and her brother Spanish and wanted them to be model American citizens. According to Alba, she's planning to right the wrong, learn Spanish by the time her baby is born and then only speak to the poor kid in Spanish for the first two years of his life. Was this woman born yesterday? I mean, really, how silly, drugged-out or high on hormones do you have to be to come up with such a plan?

"I wish to God that my dad spoke Spanish to my brother and me, but he didn't grow up with it. Hopefully I can pick it up because I want my kids to speak Spanish. I don't even want them to speak English for maybe the first two to three years, until pre-school. We're in the United States so they're going to learn it anyway" Alba states. I'll say it again - those poor, poor kids. I mean, can you imagine learning to speak Spanish from a non-native speaker while you're a kid? All the mispronounced words, all the mistakes she's going to make even without being aware of them. Call social services! And call a brain surgeon while you're at it, since it looks like he may have to cut out the "skankness" center on Jessica's brain. Yeah, that should fix her.