Jessica Alba Does Revlon in Grandma's Panties

2005 was the Jessica Alba year: her mere appearance or photos of her at some event or another were more than enough to cause quite a stir both in the media and all over the Internet. In 2006, the gorgeous 'Fantastic Four' actress released zero movies (she still spent a lot of time on movie sets, working for a bunch of 2007 releases), but that didn't stop her from continuing to be one of the most appreciated young ladies in showbiz.

Towards the end of 2006, Jessica came out of her hiding and went straight to the beach, where the paparazzi had the wonderful opportunity of snapping her while frolicking in the water in her more than useless and obnoxious bikini. It is with the reaction the world had to those photos that I'm saying this: this is the saddest panty slip ever! Like, in the history of mankind!

These days, Jessica (who has been repeatedly named the sexiest woman alive by different media outlets) is shooting for a Revlon commercial and these pics were taken on the set. Useless to say, one would expect a woman of Jessica's beauty and capacities (to read: with her gorgeous butt and even gorgeouser - that's not a word, is it? well, they should make one up just for her! - breasts) to look wonderful in anything that she puts on. Granted said piece of clothing is either a small bikini or, I don't know, a sheet or a wet towel.

As you can very well see, the Revlon people did their best to put all of Jessica's assets to good use; we have a very low cut cleavage and a sheer (almost transparent) fabric. Why (why, Lord, why? - *cry of desperation*) didn't they also make sure to leave a bikini nearby? Why did Jessica have to be the first bad flasher (yes, even worse than Paris and Lindsay)? This is all the more sad since we all know what a fine job she might have done, had she been supplied with the proper underwear.

Another thing that is terribly wrong with these pictures is that the Revlon people really wanted to do their best to make Jessica look like somebody else. Otherwise a fresh-faced, soft-featured beautiful girl, she comes off as a tranny or a Tyra Banks-look-alike with the tons of make-up she has on. Obviously, they didn't know a good thing when they had it...

I would say 'enjoy the pics' but that's not the case. Instead, try to imagine how Jessica would have looked, had someone paid more attention to her.