May 6, 2011 10:30 GMT  ·  By
Jesse James explains cheating on Sandra Bullock, divorce in new book “American Outlaw”
   Jesse James explains cheating on Sandra Bullock, divorce in new book “American Outlaw”

Since he has a book to promote, Jesse James is doing a lot of interviews these days. However, he’s saved the best for last: in excerpts from “American Outlaw” printed online, he talks about his marriage to Sandra Bullock and states that he “never really trusted her.”

As we also noted the other day, for a very long time, James kept mum on the topic of the divorce from Sandra and, more importantly, the cheating scandal that led to it.

Months after the dust finally settled, he apologized and said something to the effect that he had “wanted to get caught.” He says the same in “American Outlaw” – but also offers a bit more details, CB says.

Jesse James did not cheat on Sandra Bullock with countless women because he did not love her: he cheated because he started feeling “trapped” in the marriage and, out of all the things that he could think of, this was the only one more doable to reassert his independence.

“Mentally at a loss, desperate for something to make me feel like I had some sense of freedom, I ran through the list of things I could do to assert independence over my life. Infidelity, unfortunately, was at the top of my list,” he writes.

He also says that, by the time he cheated, he’d realized that he and Sandra were an “odd” match and that they should have never gotten together in the first place.

Deep down inside, he never believed that Sandra could love him out of all people, James explains.

“Now I had a great woman who was telling me she loved me, but that didn’t mean I was in any shape to believe her. Sandy was an actress, after all. I think in the back of my mind, I always told myself she was pretending…” Jesse writes.

“I never really trusted Sandy… I felt like sooner or later, she was going to see the real me. And then she’d leave me. Well, figured, if I was going to be left, then I wanted to make the first break,” he adds.

In the book, Jesse James also says that, in the end, it doesn’t matter whether he cheated on his ex-wife a million times or just once: the damage has been done and he has no intention to think about it too much because there’s no way he can reverse it.

For more from the book, see here.