While Paris is serving time (I just love saying that for some reason), rumor's out that she had a quickie, or maybe even more, with the offspring of the Black Sabbath front man, namely Jack Osbourne. Now we all know that Paris has a very long list of conquests, but talk about low standards.

Now I have nothing against Jack. If anything, he should be appreciated for the fact that he managed to beat his drug habit, lost about 45 pounds in the process and wrote an autobiography. But this latest accomplishment kinda beats everything else.

I'm sure you're wondering: how did Jack do it? Because if he managed, hell, that means we all got a shot. Well, the input comes from Ozzy Osbourne himself. But in an indirect manner. It seems he did not have a clue. While talking to "The Sun" reporter, Ozzy remembered that Paris used to hang out a lot around their Beverly Hills mansion. The veteran rocker presumed all this time that she was looking for Kelly or Amy.

Ozzy could not remember which one it was and asked Sharon if she knew. Sharon just said that Paris was Jack's friend, and then locked eyes with her husband. Took Ozzy a couple of moments to figure it out, but when it finally dawned on him, his jaw dropped: "He didn't shag her, did he? Well done, my son!"

Yes indeed, well done Jack! However, I have a feeling that Jack is not going to be too happy with his parents for revealing his sexual conquests to the world. As for Paris (I can't stop from giggling), I just can't wait to hear her side of the story.

In the meantime, Ozzy&Co have decided to sell the mansion after MTV stopped producing the show, hence paying for the armed guards. The new owner of the famous and former Osbourne mansion is Christina Aguilera.