Man, Lindsay Lohan sure looks beat these days. I know life must be pretty difficult for the pseudo-rehabbed party girl, and since she really seems to be short of cash these days she probably decided it was about time to pull off another publicity stunt and make an appearance at a movie premiere, wearing a little black dress, a frown and a look that said "I haven't slept in two weeks". I mean, really - all Lindsay Lohan seems to do these days is shop and try to look less like her forty-something mother, and both those things are a bit of a mystery to me.

First of all, I have no clue as to where she gets the money for shopping - and as for the forty-something looks - well, you can pretty much see that for yourselves. In the end, it's not that she looks bad - it's just that every time I see her I get hit by this simple realization: she has no job, hasn't been in a movie in ages, is drinking again, sleeping with all the men she can get her hands on and still people call her a star? Isn't that, like, a bit of an overstatement?

The fact is, there were a lot of people out for the "Cloverfield" premiere last night - starting with LiLo and her fake hair - and moving on to the likes of Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson (who looked like they had both used the same flat iron to do up their hair), Ashley Tisdale and her new nose, Stacy Keibler, Kristin Cavallari, Lauren Conrad, and ending with Heidi Montag and her fake boyfriend Spencer Pratt. I'm not sure they had a lot to see - "Cloverfield" is a Godzilla-type flick featuring a monster of some sort that decides to wipe off Manhattan, New York and presumably the rest of the world - just because it's probably having a bad day. It's a documentary-style drama, filmed in about the same manner as "The Blair Witch Project", only much more-self-consciously and with calamity reaching a much larger scale.

So, monsters inside the cinema and plenty of them outside, although by the looks of it I think it's best to refer to the outside people as "ghosts". Judging by the milky white shade of Lindsay's skin, all those money she allegedly spent on her fake tan were woefully wasted. So yes, I think that LiLo coming out to pose on the red carpet for a movie advertising the end of the world is an appropriate choice. Maybe they should have put her on the poster for it? That would have given everyone a good scare...

UPDATE

It has just been announced that as part of her community service, Lindsay will work for two days in a hospital morgue, in order to see what are the real consequences of drinking and driving. Well, given her milky-white skin she'll totally fit in. Maybe she can pick up some make-up tips while she's there, too.