It's Just U and Ur Hand Tonight, Honey!

I know this is a topic that we see just about every other day in popular magazines, but just trust me on this one - I'm about to give you some wild tips on pick-up lines and you'll be forever grateful to my generous spirit and my inquisitive, yet spirited nature. OK, enough with the modesty - but to answer your silent question, no, I'm not kidding you, I will indeed tell you a little story about a man... let's call him... say... Adrian Grenier and his exploits in the field of picking up the ladies, and this little story will indeed prove to be so illustrative that I'm sure we'll all memorize it word by word, then put on our best sexy-racy clothes, go into the nearest club and try it out as soon as possible. Yes, it may be unconventional and yes, it does have a moderate-to-high health risk (you'll see why) but I'm telling you, 'tis the best thing I heard in years.

So, according to Radar via InOutStar, this is what went on at a Manhattan party, sometime in the wee hours of the morning, when Adrian decided to show the world (and his fellow party guests in particular) that he's as smooth and as subtle as a blunt ax, while still managing to hold on to that particular charm of his, that "je ne sais quoi" that made him such a lovable character back when he was playing Vincent Chase in HBO's award-winning show.

The story goes like this: Adrian, in full pick-up mode (probably drunk and smelling of booze, but that's the least sexy part of my little tale and I won't be going into any more details), decides to target one of the ladies at the party, probably still hoping that he won't be heading home alone that night. After some chit-chat and small talk without any special conversational value, Adrian gets tired of waiting and brings out the cavalry, hitting the poor girl with his best pick-up line yet: "So", he says, "how about we go home and I f**k the s**t out of you".

Ta-dam! Big drum roll, please! Yes, people, THAT's how you do it! Direct, intimate yet viciously realistic approach, no common sense whatsoever, and let your wild, animal-like lust get the better of you while treading on every rule of decency ever invented. I'm sure the poor girl never knew what hit her. However, I'm happy to report that Mr. "hit'em in the head with a stupid pick-up line" did go home alone that night. What was that brilliant Pink song saying? Oh, yes - "it's just you and your hand tonight". Well, that was definitely true for him, and I'm sure in the end he had to learn the value of what he's got. Which is an over-inflated ego, a dirty mind and nice hands. Ouch!