Is Heidi Montag Practicing Her Sex Tape Skills in These Bikini Pictures?

Ever wondered what was the best solution for getting undivided media attention? You didn’t? Come on – I really expected better of you – I'm not speaking about releasing a sex tape, no, at least not from the very beginning, but you are in the right area. Yes, the best way to get yourself in the news and make sure people are really staring at you...in the most literal way possible, just give them an all-access pass to your bikini body. And if the whole (staged) photo shoot takes place on a beach and you're wearing nothing except a hot pink bikini, it's all for the best.

I'm talking about Heidi Montag and what I first thought to be the shoot for her first-ever sex tape. Well, my hopes are still up – especially if Heidi and her boyfriend, Spencer Pratt, ever split up and go into vengeful, payback mode. But for now, it's just the two of them, a beach, a bikini and some of those fake poses that have become some sort of specialty for The Hills protagonist.

In fact, I think that better than making this a piece of news, I should have turned the whole thing into a poll, with the caption "what are these two doing"? The answer is, shooting a video. No, not a home made video – enough with the sex tape obsession already, this is not Pammy Anderson or Paris Hilton, people. No, these two are in fact said to be working on Heidi's super-low-budget music video. Now this may be the truth or a joke, but the fact that worries me is that either variant is just as probable as the other.

But there are two words that describe them both quite accurately – and those words are "media whores". Taking out the shiny new camera and the hot pink bathing suit on a beach in full view of anyone interested to watch – what were the odds, really?

The fact is, Heidi sure knows how to work those positions – I know, I know, here I am back to the sex tape thing. But after valiantly trying to ignore her "doggy style" and "woman on top having a massive orgasm" impersonations, I have reached the conclusion that she is in fact media whoring, shooting her video and secretly training her sex tape skills all in one go. Three for one – just like the laundry detergent. Gotta love Heidi...

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