14 DAY TRIAL // A paper in the latest issue of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin shows that focusing on good-faith attempts made by your partner can make for a longer-lasting, stronger relationship. The study shows that focusing more on past failings and mistakes can lead to faster separation.
Everyone who's ever been in a couple at one point forgot some special event that was important to the other. Yet, they also made an effort to make things work on other occasions. What the study is advocating is for people to focus on the latter (within limits, of course).
Perceiving your partner as being capable of changing and improving will make you feel happier, as well as more secure in the relationship. This positive correlation holds true even if you believe that your partner could improve even further.
“Many of us tend to under-appreciate our partner’s efforts to improve the relationship, simply because we do not have enough faith in those attempts,” Northwestern University graduate student, and lead author, Chin Ming Hui, explains, quoted by PsychCentral.