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Home > News > Science > Nature

January 30th, 2006, 11:26 GMT · By Sci/Tech News Staff

Important Discovery About the Nature of Hell

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According to some posts on the net, the following is an alleged question given on University of Liverpool chemistry finals. The answer given by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which
souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God."

This student received the only "A".

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Comment #1 by: Lighioana on 30 Jan 2006, 13:34 UTC reply to this comment

This is a very old funny mail. Not worth posting it as news, not to mention as an scientific discovery.


Comment #2 by: M.C.G on 07 Feb 2006, 09:32 UTC reply to this comment

“Scientific conclusion”: Since the student received the only "A", we can assume Sandra has visited Professor and kept shouting "Oh my God."....
The only scientific discovery proved by this story is the fact Boyle law is not understood. In the mid 1600's Robert Boyle found the relationship between the pressure p and the volume V of a confined gas held at a constant temperature p * V = constant. In this case what about "Boyle's Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant"? T=ct?
Moreover, if we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially and the Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the pressure would increase, but in this case the volume would decrease.... as a result of Boyle law

Comment #2.1 by: upsidown on 09 Aug 2006, 14:47 GMT

Yeah, in...

"Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant."

it should have been Gay-Lussac law. And in...

"Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added."

it should have been the ideal gas law - assuming Hell is a sort of gas made of souls.


Comment #3 by: ksmadhavan on 06 Jul 2007, 14:30 UTC reply to this comment

I think Hell must be Isothermal, otherwise the engineers in there would have designed a heat engine to run a refrigerator to cool off!
According to the latest US patent 6958135 this isothermal reactor could well be conducting both endothermic and exothermic reactions.

Comment #3.1 by: ksmadhavan on 07 Jul 2007, 14:10 GMT

Point No. 1 - Logically they should use the heat engine to run an air-conditioner but they were mad enough to run a refrigerator.

Point No. 2 - The doors of hell are always open. A refrigerator in a space with door open will cool the space (high school physics).

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