I have a feeling this week is going to be a really dramatic one in terms of celebrity scandals. Call it my intuition, my "gut" instinct, whatever you like - or maybe it's just my subconscious interpreting some of the "bad vibes" and omens that I've seen over the past days - the fact is, I sense tough days ahead. Days of madness, of uncertainty, of scandal and day-long police stand-offs, days in which porn stars will be announcing their retirement and the Earth will stop spinning.
OK, I may have gotten carried away there a bit, but you get the point. I mean, for once, today's the day Brit Brit Spears is supposed to bring her frappuccino-loving self to court or else face not seeing her kids for about three months - and that's no joke. Plus, there's a big scandal coming up involving some drug trafficking and some pretty famous names such as Timbaland and 50 Cent, and that's going to turn ugly too. See - Saturn and Pluto must be in conjunction... or disjunction... or whatever planets do that causes mortals to go berserk... and we will, of course, bring you all the hot news if you stay tuned.
So, let's put this show on the road with a lighter - yet quite serious - piece of news, involving one of the biggest... what am I saying, THE biggest porn star of all times. I don't know about you, but to me Jenna Jameson is like... the embodiment of all porn things. I know you may disagree, but you can't deny that this lady - who started her prodigious career as a porn star at the fragile age of 18 (I know, homegirl sure knew what she was doing...) - was the first porn actress who broke into the world of mainstream entertainment and became a sort of public figure. Well, almost a public figure - and that's why I'm so shocked to report that this week, along with all the incoming Britney drama, we're all going to have to live with the thought that Jenna will not ever, ever be having sex on camera. I mean, ever.
I know you may think that's not much, seeing how there are literally hundreds of movies featuring Jenna being... ahem, extremely generous and sharing her most intimate secrets (and body parts) with us all, but still... it's officially the end of an era. Jenna made the startling announcement while attending the AVN Awards in Vegas this Saturday night - and you can watch below and see how the audience reacted to this piece of news. "Honesty is key", she said. "I will never ever ever spread my legs again in this industry. Ever!" Oh, honey! Please, don't do this to us. We were really counting on you! I mean yes, I know you removed your boobs and lost a lot of weight, but that's no reason to go all "Hollywood chic" on our a*ses. Well, I guess we'll just have to learn how to live with it. Told you it's going to be a dramatic week.
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